I have tried as part of self-regulation to help students understand their role in a situation. Sometimes it takes time, and once in a while I catch myself saying “well what did you do”…sometimes not always realizing the individual isn’t ready to self-reflect. Today I was on the receiving end, and it gave me that perspective.
My wife’s car lost a tire while she was driving. She is OK, and the car is OK…I was upset, the dealership had changed the tires a few weeks ago. I wanted to be told everything would be ok, instead of negotiating tow-truck fees and car rentals.
The person on the other end listened to my concerns. I wasn’t loud, rude, however I remember saying I was upset and that my tone was that of frustrated. The person on the other end stopped me and asked what could I have done to prevent the situation.
I felt like I wasn’t being listened to, I felt like it was somehow all my fault…then I realized after hanging up that my students must feel this when they are asked to reflect so soon, sometimes while still in the moment.
It was a good pause tonight- one that I will share with my class. I often share stories of dis-regulation as a way to build capacity to express feeling and strategies for getting through tough moments.
I still want a discount on my car repair…